KAT: I am tough but good and victimized. JAX: I am evil.

JAX: I am misunderstood but good and victimized. KAT: I am evil.

SOL: I just happen to know computers, martial arts and other useful skills.

SOL: I also happen to know how to pick pockets and speak spanish.

NAOMI: I hate you, Gabe. You're cold but Sol likes you better than me and anyways you get more author attention than I do.

KAT: You like the person I hate, which means I hate you, which doesn't make any sense but I hate you anyway.

SOL (to Gabe): You treat me as an object. Can I have your children?

RANDOM IF GUY: We just went to a lot of trouble to keep you from finding this stuff. Here it all is. I'm going to drop this file right in your lap. Which we have gone to great length to keep hidden from you. Don't ask, just read

KAT (to Jax): You tried to kill me and I'm afraid of you. No wait, I forgot. I'm the one who tried to kill you! Silly me.

SOL: Hello, I am the tool of innocence in the hands of amorality.

RIYA: <silence>
Riya is present, but has no lines.

SOL: Before I knew I knew martial arts, my main weapon was looking wistful or accusatory and sniffling.

GABE'S MOM: I love you, Gabe. I want you to live on and have a happy life. And to think about how terrible it was to see us die once every 47 seconds.

MAI: I can read minds. Ooooooh, scary. But really I just like to fondle my necklace and pretend I know that you don't know what I know.

MAI: I can read minds (read: your posts), and I have author knowledge.

GABE'S DAD: I'm evil. No wait, there might be more to it than that. No, I'm just evil. No wait, I had justification. No, actually, I'm just evil. To prove it I will kill Sol's father. <he does> See? Evil.

FRANKY: HEY U R SEXXY WUT IZ UR NAME

RABIN: Ug.

JOR: Ug.

RABIN and JOR hit each other over the head with rocks.

WICK: I take pleasure in making plans, but only when they cause problems for other people.

JOR: <clubs WICK over the head and drags her back to his cave>

WICK: Shit, I think I love you, Jor. I hate you for that. *HIT JOR* *KISS JOR* *HIT JOR* *KISS JOR* *REPEAT AS NECESSARY*

RIYA: I secretly want to be loved by Hunter Gabriel because he's exactly like me, except now he has feelings, which mean I must kill him to prove how unemotional I am. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

HALE: Damn I'm evil.

BRYANT: I try to come off like a good guy but I really just look wishy-washy and impotent next to Hale.

BRYANT: I am tragic.

WICK: I am tragic.

NATHAN: I am tragic.

KAT: Once again, I hate Ja-- oops, Mode-- and because I hate him, that must mean I love him, which of course means I have to kill him. It doesn't make any sense to me either, which must mean it's love.

JOR: I'm pussywhipped, but it's okay because I get to pretend I'm in charge by smacking her around once in awhile. Shh, don't destroy my illusions.

SERGEI: I have no reason for being except to look stupid. Please excuse me while I go kill myself.

FARGO: This is Common Town.

GABE'S DAD: Join us, Gabe.
GABE: Why?
GABE'S DAD: You don't know the power of the dark side.

GABE'S DAD: It is... too late ... for me, son.

Pallas: I am cold efficiency distilled, but what I really want is to have a meaningful relationship with someone equally cold and efficient.

ALICE: Cheerio!

SOL'S DAD: I'm going to let my teenage daughter leave my house unsupervised for an undisclosed amount of time to go somewhere I haven't been told about for reasons never explained to me with a teenage boy who ran away from home.

SOL: My dad is cool.

PAPAQ: <smacksKat> I am just a poorly disguised device to help my writer relive the father-daughter relationship of her childhood.

PAPAWINDHAVEN: Me too.

SOL'S MOM: Me too.

DONOVAN: I was supposed to be the lighthearted, outgoing one, but it didn't work out.

DOMINIC: I was supposed to be the reserved, scheming one, but it didn't work out.

ROX: Teehee.

NICOLAI: I was supposed to be evil and seducing, but ended up as a misunderstood, rejected boy in his underpants.

ARCEN: I have a cool name. ... ... That is all.

SASHA: I was supposed to be an extra, but ...well...damnit, she had guns.

MIK: My guns are bigger than yours. I think Freud had a name for my obsession. P____ envy.

BIANCA: I have a different way of compensating.

DANTE: I'm a popsicle.

DR. MURAIDA: I am a tortured adult trapped in a violent teenage setting by my morals.

DR. REYNOLDS: Where's my syringe?

NATHAN: I long for a clean life, but this redhead is distracting most of me.

KAT: I have a thing for violent, tortured blonds.

CAS: Duhr, I like robots. Gee, you're pretty.

RIYA: I think that perhaps I might have stepped in something. There is an object attached to my leg, and it will not come of-- oh wait, that is Thoth.

SVEDE: I ehm highleey ooovairwreeten.

SVEDE: I don't like that Vick!

SVEDE: I eem varing tinee vhite skeeveez.

DONOVAN: *winks at SVEDE*

WICK: I am higher-born than these peasants around me. No one will miss a few of them. *openairlock*

SVEDE'S WRITER: I'm tired of typing. I think I'll just resort to pounding random z's and v's on the keyboard, like this: zvxvsvzcxzvzvx

WICK: I like fire because I was set on fire once.

BALLOON VENDOR: Who the hell am I? How do I relate to this plot in any way?

DANTE: I can't make up my mind. No wait, I don't care. <freeze> No wait, I love Angel. No wait, I love Donovan. No, I can't make up my mind.

JOR: <indiscriminatelybeatspeople> Hey Wick, look, I'm beating them up! That means I like you! WAS me some more! <beatbeatbeat>

EJAN: I can send Riya a flower if I want. You're not the boss of me.

IF SOLDIERS: We can't catch two kids who think of the brilliant idea of hiding in cupboards. Don't you want to enlist now?

RABIN: I am honorable. Despite the fact that most of the time I'm anything but.

THOTH: I am Riya's lovable comic relief.

RIYA: I am slowly discovering that I am a human being. I had better shoot someone. Aww, that feels better.

GABE: I am slowly discovering that I am a human being. Quick, time for a chopper crash flashback.

WICK: Jor punishes me so I don't have to have a conscience.

RIYA: I have a cool trenchcoat and sunglasses.

EJAN: Me too. Let's WAS.

MODE: I am experiencing physical complications that would rival a suicide attempt. I shall take another nap.

KAT: To stab or not to stab, that is the question.

LIBRARY: ACK! I AM DEFILED!

LIBRARY: I only contain books so that people can WAS on them, instead of read them.

THE ROOM: <yawn>

THE ROOM: Has anybody noticed that there seems to be no shortage of places where things can go on secretly in a starbase?

SOL: Shut up and hold maps.

THE BARRACKS: =-O

CLASSROOM A: (bottom of the posting list) I resent that.

INFIRMARY: Dear God, make them all go away.

COMMAND SCHOOL: Despite being called "school," no one ever appears to go to "class."

MODE: Oh look, a balcony. I shall jump over it.

ROX: Hey, a hand is waving at me! I think I'll WAS it!

Mode: I am brooding.
Nathan: I am brooding.
Angel: I am whining.
Kat: I am stalking.

GABE: I have no regard for human life! But hurry, we have to save the lives of the people that keep trying to kill us!

Angel: I care! Wait, I don't. Yes, I do! I love Dante! No, wait, I'm not worthy of Dante. I care for Kat! No, wait, you'd better kill her. Fuck it, just kill yourself.

RYAN: I exist only to infuriate everyone else when I post two sentences, freeze all the main characters, and then disappear for months. But I think I can get away with it by calling them foyne ass shawties. Hey, did it work again?

HELEN: <exude innocence>

CAS: <exude innocence>

SETH: <triestomackonDanteasaproxyforAmy>

CAS: Look! I built a radio out of a coconut!

DOMINIC AND DONOVAN: We were genetically engineered and bred to care only for ourselves, but since we're getting steady WAS, we suddenly know how to love.

ROX: Hi, do I know you? Tee hee. Let's WAS.

CAS: Look! I built a space station of four cubic centimeters that could power the entire planet for a year on one gram of transparent polycarbon!

POLYCARBON: Whatever I am, I am useful.

POLYCARBON: Look! I'm glass! Now I'm a ship! Now I'm an android! Now I'm a three-course dinner!

ANGEL: I want to kill myself.

ASMODEUS: I want to kill everyone else.

MODE: Everyone nags too much.

ANGEL: I want to kill myself.

ASMODEUS: I want to kill you too.

KAT: Sure, I'm game.

MODE: My nose hurts.

ANGEL: Kat is evil, yet deserves to be treated as the pure creature all women inherently are.

MODE: Kat is destructive, yet she understands my true spirit, and I feel we have a connection.

ASMODEUS: She's amusing when she kicks like that.

EVERY GIRL AT IFC: We all used to be virgins until a sudden three-day period when the whole school went downhill. Now look at us!

SOL: Except me.

PALLAS: And me. I'm trying out for the part of refrigerator.

DR. REYNOLDS: Aren't there psych screenings before they let you work as a doctor for the IF?

JOHAN: I like black.

JOHAN: I am what Mode will become, don't you see, can't you see, CAN'T YOU?!

JOHAN: I stole Mode's background before it got to be his background.

JOHAN: And now they gave me this gun thing. What does this do? *lookdownbarrel*

JOHAN: I'm evil. And smug. And evil. Here, I'll exercise power that by all rights I not only shouldn't have, but shouldn't be able to back up. Take him to the brig, random goons who came from nowhere.

BRYANT: I am principled. I'll happily let this psychopath control my school if it means I don't have to be a part of his reign of terror.

JOHAN: I shall laugh and twitch and throw fits.

JOHAN: How the hell did Muraida and I become friends?

JOHAN: And how the hell did he come under the impression he could trust me?

JOR: He zapped me with a laser, but since chicks dig brands, I'll quickly forget that I hate him. WAS me, Wick, because you feel guilty. WOO!

WICK: Can't talk, watching fire.

KAT: Can I watch too? I'm not supposed to like you but I do, does that make sense?

WICK: Kat is an example of what I'm like on the inside. Plus we both like a good smacking.

RABIN: Why am I here, really? Has anybody really thought about that? I'm not really that smart. I'm no good at command. All I do well is pilot, but I have no g-tolerance, something nobody noticed until now. What am I doing here?

KAT: She kissed me. Despite the fact that we are mortal enemies and I don't like girls, and forgetting that I like to kill every single person I don't like, I think I'll be her best friend.

SCORPION AIT: Is it really necessary to train Legion agents in space when they'll be operating almost entirely on Earth?

HALE: How in the hell did I not notice Riya was a freaking sociopath?

RIYA: It's because I never talk.

RIYA: Oh wait, I used a con-something. Contraction.

KAT: You wanna see someone hold a meaningless grudge? Oh, I'll give you a taste of it.

GABE: I'm going to lie to Sol and sneak off alone to fight Kat. This makes sense. For some reason.

KAT: I'm sane, really. Believe me. BELIEVE ME! <stabstabstab>